I know small victories are important when even getting out of bed is difficult but yeah, welcome to the real world, where good grades and letters of recomendation actually matter. I keep failing, I keep disappointing everyone arround me, I keep disappointing myself because I’m weak as fuck. I just wish I could go a day without feeling like a complete and utter failiure, without wanting to jump onto the tracks whenever I catch the subway, without wanting to jump off the bridge I have to cross everyday to get to my bus stop.
Uuh… it’s hard to explain, it’s a burden that just appears out of nowhere and fucks you up for days. Ignoring it is not easy. It takes over you and even tends to distort your perception of reality turning it into a living nightmare. It’s awful and terrifying.
realmente não aprendo, que idiota de merda.
when the solutions to a medical problem are “reduce stress” i am like? what am i going to do about this????? not go to school?? get rid of my parents??? force myself deeper down the road of total and complete apathy???
Fantasia, Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy (1940)